2013-11-29

Radical Sabbatical!

In the words of Liz Lemon, "Shut it down!"

I haven't updated this blog in forever (109 days) and don't foresee myself keeping it up-to-date in the near future, so this is my official mea culpa to the Internet Gods (aka Google) and consequent official bowing out from the blog.

For now.

In the meantime, email me if you need me: chung.nguyen(at)gmail.com

Cheers!


Up, up and away!

2013-08-13

Poison & Wine



I heard this song sometime ago but really, its lyrics really resonate with me in light of recent relationship changes.

I don't love you, but I always will. I always will.

2013-08-11

"These bruises make for better conversation...."


It's been a tough month.

Dima and I broke up on July 5th and I feel like ever since, everything has changed.

We were together on and off for about seven years and have known each other for nine years.

It's very safe to say that our relationship tremendously shaped us to become the people we are today.

And now, it's done.

How am I? Honestly, I'm a little numb. I'm a little too good at compartmentalizing my feelings and emotions, divorcing it from my everyday life so that I'm a fully functioning human being who doesn't start bawling and sobbing uncontrollably when the wistful thoughts cross my mind. Oh, the thoughts.
  • The last time I held his hand was the last time ever.
  • The way that he freaked out about my stubbed toe in Hawaii, but brushed off the open wound on his knee? He always put me first, and I didn't appreciate that enough.
  • He'll never, ever call me Monkey anymore. Ever. Here on out, I will just be Chung to him. AKA the girl that he loved once upon a time ago.
  • The last time I told him that I loved him was the last time ever. It'll never be the same again, even if I know a part of me will always love him. His love changed my life, for the better.
  • We'll never nap together on the couch anymore. I'll never be able to smoosh my face against his chest. I won't be able to try to push him away when it gets too warm only to have him instinctively pull me closer. No more naps on the couch together.
At the end of the day, we were great together, but not the perfect fit. Even with a heavy, broken heart, I know that he'll someday find someone who truly deserves his love. Someone not unlike me, but she'll instinctively fight for their relationship because she recognizes how valuable/important/wonderful/delicate/awesome it is while she's still in it.

As for me, I'm giving myself permission to cry. I'm giving myself permission to hurt. And wow, it hurts so much sometimes. I'm giving myself permission to express the hurt with words, so that I can grieve. I'm giving myself permission to feel like this is kind of a big deal for me, so it's OK to feel bad. Most importantly, I'm giving myself permission to live my life however it feels best, and right now, that means long walks with doggy dog, the occasional meal with friends, and a whole lot of music on Spotify.

2013-06-01

Nods and Smiles

I seriously had the worst week in terms of exhaustion and stress. It's a terrible combination, in case you were curious.

And then, positive reviews came in my inbox and I didn't feel like I was a total waste of oxygen after all.

Thank you, friends and clients, for your kindness and faith in me. Especially when, some days/weeks, I can't muster the strength to carry myself.

I love you.

 
Hiked to the top of Half Dome in Yosemite on 2013-05-27. Go me! :)

2013-05-06

If Only....

A ton of New Amsterdam tulips.
  • It's easy to forget to do things. Hence: task lists. And calendars.
  • If there was a pill you could take to be full and nourished instead of eating, I would totally take that pill every now and then. I love to eat, but having to nourish myself on a daily basis gets to be quite time-consuming. I know, I know... total white whine! :)